Not Been Myself Lately

I was on sick benefits for 15 weeks starting May, a perfect gift for a photographer like me who loves birding, too. It was good for me to get outdoors, walking at a slow pace, building strength and stamina.

I switched over to regular employment insurance  benefits  in the fall and enrolled in a Learning Center to take Personal Development courses and Job Search workshops. It felt good to stimulate my mind and get into a regular routine plus the support was important to me.

I found the process mentally, emotionally and physically challenging and knew I needed to take care of a persistent  productive cough. I went to a doctor and was proactive in finding solutions. It has been a real “high” running on energy that was more recently due to a prescription for Prednisone which brings down the inflammation in the lungs. It was having an effect, but I realized it wasn’t totally working. I checked with the doctor about the results of the x-rays and the report was that the technician noted it was “worse than the last x-ray but not sure if it was pneumonia or old scar tissue.”

I also kept pushing myself to keep up with the growing demand and expectations of the learning Centre. Then bang! I hit a wall, all of a sudden, the day I called about the x-ray.  I knew I had pneumonia. I felt exhaustion and spasms in my lungs. I stopped everything  and stayed home to rest. Relief! Felt a lot of pain and could not lie down at night so sat up, propped by pillows and wrapped in cozy blankets and drinking lots of fluids, wondering if I should go to the hospital but didn’t want to pay for an ambulance and didn’t know if I should drive and where would I park, or should I call someone to take me in…for about four nights.

This passed.

I am facing a tough decision: not really well enough to be ready for work or looking for work “right now”. Every day I report in sick to the learning centre which is sponsored by Service Canada Employment insurance I do not get paid because I am not “ready, able and willing to work”. Do I get a doctor’s note and apply for social assistance or push forward ?  But pushing myself is how I got to this point in the first place.

I am FATIGUED. I have been operating mainly on the “willing” part of being ready for work. I opted for antibiotics and there has been huge improvement but still need to rest-not sure for how long. Making decisions -I can’t think my way out of a paper bag when I am sick.

I have two doctor’s appointments today: one to see the doctor that I visited recently to get “results”; the other with my own doctor to talk about getting a note

That is enough for today.

Glad to hear from some of you after the big storm but am a little anxious to hear from others that haven’t posted blogs yet…hope you are okay. Lastly,

HAPPY HALLOWEEN everyone! Have fun and be safe.

©Jane Chesebrough